Westwood is well aware of my weakness in translating English idioms. Nevertheless, the guest week shall continue!

(( Awesome posters still from awesome people: PixelKittiesEchoFireBugDr. Adorablemittymandi , annnnnnd hbreckel! ))


What’s the point of having supervisors if you can’t occasionally get them to do your work for you? This coming week you’ll see my handlers in the Night Guard, Adamant and Westwood from Ask The Night Guards, do their best to keep up with your stream of questions!

Artwork by Tomol6
Script #282 day 1

English can be such a difficult language to master, much more so than standard Equestrian. Word plays in such an ancient language even moreso.

(( The night guards did a guest week for Ask Pun a few weeks back. I’ll be reblogging it this week! ))

I do hope our expressions met your satisfaction silverdarkwing (Mod blog, may reblog NSFW), and we are well aware of the season ask-littleeris ( RP blog ). Now, we have a matter of requesting a certain orange device from one of Everfree Labs’ esteemed researchers.

(( Awesome posters still from awesome people: PixelKittiesEchoFireBugDr. Adorablemittymandi , annnnnnd hbreckel! ))

Your Royal Carriage will be ready soon, your Royal Highness (Adorable Luna Art blog). I am concerned about your obsession with butts, shootingstarsafterdark and adurot, (Awesome mod blogs, with much butts, may be NSFW) but no matter. We must attend to a complaint from Miss Skye Gazer (Adorable ask blog) regarding the entity known as Ween (Awesome ask blog, may be NSFW) and His Royal Highness Sir Reginald Butterscop Pendragin IV Jr. (Silly ask blog)

(( Awesome posters from awesome people: PixelKittiesEchoFireBugDr. Adorablemittymandi , annnnnnd hbreckel! ))


Who could be at the other side of the glass!!?? (I welcome anyone to draw)
bonus points to anyone who knows where this is from!

Adamant is unimpressed by Miss Ruby Rue’s fishy shenanigans.


Who could be at the other side of the glass!!?? (I welcome anyone to draw)

bonus points to anyone who knows where this is from!

Adamant is unimpressed by Miss Ruby Rue’s fishy shenanigans.


"vivace tantarella isnt exactly the coolest name for a DJ."



Being an archivist has its privileges; one of which is being on a first-name basis with the Royal Student.

(( Also, ask-pon3 is awesome and seinanigans is awesome. Go follow! ))

I do not think the orange device that was recently surrendered would make a good gift for Her Royal Highness. A much better locale would be in a vault inside Everfree Labs or with a researcher.

(( Awesome posters from awesome people: PixelKittiesEchoFireBugDr. Adorablemittymandi , annnnnnd hbreckel! ))


Now you lovebirds be home before 12, alright?

To be fair, it is less of a jail, and more of a “vault of useless artifacts.” Toasters should be fine, as long as they do not touch the large black monolith.



Shouldn’t have left the TARDIS doors open, grrhghg dammit dammit dammit…

If we sent all of our forces back in time to correct the temporal violation, we’d end up causing our own temporal violation. We’ll need that Pegasus Pony to get the TARDIS to move, and as his observer I’m probably the only one who can properly induce him to be helpful.

Artwork by Jitterbug Jive
Script #612 Day 7

While Agent 707 relies on us for seal maintenance, the chartered partnership (night guard) she serves is of a different Equestria than our own, and as such, is not in our chain of command. However, we do assist that Equestria in consulting when such is requested.

Westwood recently returned from such a task. He declined to offer many details, save for that it was “a hoofful”

The guard uniform comes with a high responsibility and a high price. 2mahnas (NSFW mod blog). Details of the helmets are currently classified and under review, askgibbfamilyandfriends (mod/RP blog) and kasei-inktail (mod/ask blog). As for the details of LCP-7391, thewaywordwriter (story blog) and helpi-mtrappedinapiano (empty), and Westwood refuses to translate what was said, fe26eagle (mod blog). But yes, such claims have been made, ask-ragna-pony (RP blog).

(( Cameos: asktinkerbox and ask-lace-secret. Check ‘em out! ))

(( The posters are from PixelKittiesEchoFireBug, and Dr. Adorable, with two new posters, from mittymandi and hbreckel! ))

I would highly suggest against a foolhardy initiative, lambda-dusk(NSFW Mod blog). Canterlot Castle’s cantankerous chef(NSFW? art blog) has quite an arsenal with which to protect her kitchen. No, Mortuus(SFW? art blog), its twin is still missing, but it will have company. Zearou(NSFW mod blog)’s donation, gracefully offered by Lieutenant Merriweather(SFW art blog), is also here. Do not worry, Miss Prize (dead art blog), the appliance survived (art blog), as the flat side of the blade was used.

(( It’s Sweet Cream Mod’s birthday today. Happy birthday, Creamu!(NSFW? art blog)(mod blog) ))


((Featured askblueberrytartpony and askthenightguards. Can’t find the post right now, but in case someone doesn’t know, Burn ended up throwing a pie at Adamant when she was drunk :p))

As an organization, the Night Guard has a long memory indeed. Even more so when pastry and fruit is involved.


Who is the bigger fool? The inept guard, or the guy who entrusts a dangerous criminal to the equine equivalent of Rantanplan?

This foolish act may very well be a clever plan to have Wild Card lead to the stolen class 20 artifact. Most likely, it is just a foolish act.

(( I think I’m missing a chapter in that link collection, but it’s a very awesome audio play Wild Card did a long while back. ))


I’ve got a big presentation to give, but the antics of Adamant and Westwood from Ask the Night Guards always put me in a good mood.

And yes, the armor changes my coat and voice. If it didn’t, it would be rather obvious who Agent 707 is. Bear in mind that I was moderately famous when I left Canterlot.

Artwork by JaDeD_JynX
Background by BonesWolbach
Script #874 Day 1

There are three dangers a guard must never take:

  1. Do not stare directly into a malevolent interdimensional vortex.
  2. Do not read a cursed book made of hide and sinew alone.
  3. Do not comment on the size of a mare’s flank.


Mod Notes:

Sorry for the lateness of this one folks. Once again featuring Adamant & Westwood

While Westwood is prone to bluntness or generally dismissive of rules and regulations, he was correct that this was not the time for such diplomatic engagement. We do not typically deal with such matters, but aiding a fellow guard calls for such an intervention.

(( I’m so late with these reblergs! :C ))